Here is the thing. If you are anything like me you have spent your whole life trying to avoid your emotions. Some people get thrashed up and down and left and right by their emotions, like a ship on stormy seas, but for many, its just easier to ignore them. Mask them or simply not feel them by finding ways to numb themselves or distract themselves. That’s not hard to do in our world these days. But the truth is emotions have a purpose. They are a compass that point us in the direction of things that need attention. Things within ourselves or things in our outer world. Whether you believe in a higher power, god, the universe, whatever, or not, you can at least believe in yourself. And sometimes, just like your car, your body, or your computer, your spirit needs to be checked up and maintained.
What and why are two questions that will get you started. What am I feeling and why am I feeling it. It might sound a little simplistic, but more often than not we don’t know what we are feeling, let alone why we are feeling it. So the best place to start is to identify what exactly you are feeling. Some emotions are similar to each other or like to hide in other emotions that are easier to access. For example, anger can sometimes be easier to access than say fear, or sadness. So, we may default into, “I’m angry!” when in reality we are feeling hurt in some way. If you have spent a good amount of time ignoring feelings it might be helpful to look up a list of different emotions and test some out. Here is a list to get you started.
Some people may be so tuned out to their emotions that they avoid them before they can even truly feel them. That’s ok. This is a process and the more you check in with yourself, even just at random times of the day, the more aware you will become and the more accessible your emotions will become. You might even test yourself. Take a walk, watch a movie, or listen to a song and see if any emotions stir up. Sometimes its easier to go outside of yourself, take an action, and then come back and check in with yourself.
When trying to feel your emotion get out of your head. That is not where emotions live. Thoughts live in the head, emotions live in the body. I like to imagine tuning out of my mind and placing my attention to my gut or my heart area and really trying to feel what is there. It takes some practice, but you’ll find it. Maybe you want to travel your attention throughout your body…see what feels right. Its like scanning a metal detector wand over your body, but with the intention of finding feelings.
This is literally self discovery. Be open to whatever you have to say to you!
Once you start to identify the emotions you are feeling, ask yourself why am I feeling this? Fair warning, this is not easy either. It has taken me weeks, even months to figure out why I was feeling a certain way about a situation. Be patient with yourself. Unfortunately, most of the time we don’t just have one emotion linked to one event and that’s it. It would be so much easier if it worked that way! Usually its a mix of feelings linked to an event and that event may be similar to a past event that made us feel the same way and that is linked to another event that is linked to a belief we have. Its a whole network at play and you can find yourself going down a rabbit hole. We can discuss what to do once you identify the network at play later. For now, don’t let this get out of hand and spiral and don’t try to force it. Let the discovery unfold in its own time.
Why Even Do This?
The reason we need to pinpoint our feelings and the ‘why’ behind them is because armed with that information we can steer ourselves towards what is best for us. What needs to be changed to help us feel better and healthier, mentally and physically.
This can be awkward at first, but once you give in to the process and really delve into what you are feeling a whole world opens up. Our inner worlds are such mysteries even to ourselves and a little clarity never hurts, in fact, it will actual help guide us towards healing.
Let me know if this helps at all or if you make any discoveries of your own!
Spiritual Therapy...a journey 